Isabella Rossellini’s Green Porno 3

Picture 6

Since I found out that Isabella Rossellini’s Green Porno would be getting a third season of shorts on the Sundance Channel, I could not contain my curiosity. What could she be dressing up as next? Would there be a 6 foot strap on involved? Would she be able to contain her obvious look of joy when a female she was enacting killed or ate the male after sex?

Unfortunately, this latest batch lacks the confidence and natural humour that shone through in seasons 1 and 2. The appearance of ‘Marine Biologist Claudio Campagna’ with his on-location facts, undermines the creativity and research that stood out in the past. Whilst it’s commendable that more important issues, such as sustainability and over-fishing are being tackled this time around, it’s clear that Rossellini lacks the confidence to tackle them on her own.

The biggest disappointment is that the beautifully bawdy sense of humour of these films has become self conscious and reliant on Rossellini’s sexy delivery of innocuous words such as ‘spermateca’ or performing a strip-tease whilst dressed as a shrimp. Yes, she’s lovely, but it all seems a bit forced.

It’s not all bad news. The costumes are still impressive, especially a gauze squid outfit in which Rossellini shines blue and red torches to demonstrate underwater communication. And despite my dislike for ‘Marine Biologist Claudio Campagna’ (you’ll understand the quote marks when you watch it), he clearly has a good chemistry with Rossellini. There’s an endearing moment in ‘Harem on the Beach’ when she tries to get him to run away from a male elephant seal, charging towards an available female. It almost redeems the whole episode, which is otherwise too long and preachy.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t lost my appetite. It’s still a fantastic and inventive piece of film making, and I hope that many other seasons are commissioned.
Next time I’d like most costumes, more Isabella Rossellini and less ‘Marine Biologist Claudio Campagna’ please.


The Cinema Theatre Association

I’ve just sent off my cheque to the Cinema Theatre Association (CTA) to become a member for this year. The CTA are dedicated to the history of cinema buildings, which I think to be amongst the most beautiful buildings in this country. Throughout my childhood I watched the last of these incredible buildings be demolished in my hometown, including the Alhambra in Normacot (the Fleapit), as all cinema exhibition in Stoke-on-Trent was out-sourced to the new-build Odeon on the outskirts of town.

The Alhambra, Normacot

The CTA protect, admire and campaign for these dying buildings – although it’s too late in many parts of the country. They also produce the annual magazine Picturehouse, featuring some stunning photography of these cinemas, both past and present.
The CTA website allows you to view a list of endangered UK cinema buildings, including the EMD Cinema in Walthamstow. The EMD was the childhood cinema of Alfred Hitchcock, and is currently owned by a religious organisation that are not interested in preserving its cinematic heritage. Luckily, the McGuffin Film Society are dedicated to reclaiming the building through campaigns and film screenings. Support them here.
If you’re from an area with an old cinema theatre still standing, I’d be interested to see any pictures you may have.

BFFS National Conference 2009

In the daytime I’m the Operations Coordinator for the British Federation of Film Societies, the support and development body for the film society and community cinema movement in the UK. I love my job, as I think that the work of film societies is a seriously underrated area of UK exhibition that strengthens community and develops some eccentric and exciting film tastes. Film societies support film in all areas and can serve as a pillar for films that have no mainstream UK distribution – so they really deserve a weekend of celebration, film screenings and opportunities to meet like-minded film buffs.

The BFFS National Conference for Community Cinemas and Film Societies is taking place in Sheffield on the 19th-20th September. It’s currently my entire life, but we’ve put together some brilliant events and I expect it to be worth it to be worth every sleepless night. If you’re interested, you can find more info here or ask me a question in the comments section.

New Green Porno to debut on 14th September

Isabella Rossellini’s beautiful, funny and down right rude Green Porno is one of the most delightful pieces of moving image I’ve seen this year. The first season saw the glorious Ms. Rossellini emulating the fastidious sexual habits of the male Dragonfly whilst the second season saw her swim around dressed as a Whale explaining the trials and tribulations of the underwater penis (all the while sporting a 6 foot strap-on). The costumes are stunning, Isabella Rosselini is stunning and you go away having learnt a little something about the world. What more could you want from set of 2 minute films?
The new season will apparently feature the reproductive habits of sea animals, including the shrimp, the squid and the tantalisingly titled ‘Harem on the Beach: Elephant Seal.’

Get your eyes around the first and second season now on the Sundance Channel and come back for my review of the third season next week.